Where We've Been, Where We Are, and Where We Go from Here

Franklin, NC, was a great time.  If you're ever in town, I highly recommend 76 Outfitters for your backcountry needs, The Rathskeller for good folks and good libations, and Elmore's Fish Fry for fried Oreos.....yeah, that's right.  Sweet-battered, deep-fried Oreo cookies.  I'll just leave it at that.

Easter Sunday morning was my departure back to the Trail.  Everyone I was with caught the early shuttle back; I stayed and finished packing and caught the next shuttle back to Winding Stair Gap.  The plan was to hike past the first shelter and on to the second, Wayah Bald, about 12mi away.  I got a bit of a later start than I had planned but still had plenty of time to make it.  Problem was, I just wasn't feeling it....and I was starting to get some real stiffness in my left knee.  Time in town and occasional icing didn't seem to do me much good.  I sucked it up, decided I would just take an easy pace, and started up the hill.
About two miles in, I was in a bad way.  My mind wasn't in it, I was sluggish after my town visit, and my knee just kept getting more and more painful.  After what seemed like far too long, I made it to Siler Bald shelter, only three and a half miles from my start point.  It took me over two hours to get there.  I decided I was gonna take some time, lie down in the sun, get to feeling better, and get back up and push on to my targeted stop.  I ended up sleeping for almost three hours; when I got up, my leg was no better and I found myself staring at 5o'clock with 8 miles to hike.  I refused to stop where I was; I felt there was no reason for me to only hike three miles my first day back out after a break.  As I pushed on, I started hurting more, and more, and more.  I ended up making better time than I thought I would, honestly; by 9:30, I was heading up Wayah Bald, only a mile and a half from the shelter site.  I stopped at the observation tower and made some dinner; it was nice, really....crisp winds, clear skies, not a soul around....for a moment, I didn't mind so much I was hobbling.  I mean, you have to expect to have pains and aches, so I chalked it up to seasoning of my body and headed down the hill to camp for the night.

After the last mile and a half that night, my knee was jello.  For the following three days, it just got worse.

I hiked about five miles a day for the next three, and it was the most painful and unenjoyable hiking I've ever done.  I was limping along, constantly having to stop, catching myself with my trekking poles to keep from tumbling down the hill when my knee would give out...no bueno.  Wednesday afternoon, I made my descent from the mountains down to the Nantahala Outdoor Center, just outside of Bryson City, NC.  The NOC is a really nice area, with a couple restaurant/cafe options, an outfitters, and hostel/bunk space and cabin rentals.  I grabbed a bunk and hunkered down for the impending bad weather--the storms that ravaged Alabama and affected so many friends and family members of mine.  Thankfully, with the exception of property damage, everyone is safe and healthy.

I stayed at the NOC for a day and a half.  The best part was doing some jamming along the Nantahala River with Bass Clef, the cellist, and hanging out with several folks I hadn't seen in several days.

So, this next part I'm not so proud about.....but on Friday, the 29th, I yellow-blazed it.  You see, the Appalachian Trail is probably the most well-marked trail on the planet, with white 2"x6" blazes marking trees and rocks all the way.  Honestly, you almost have to try to get lost.  Blue blazes mark side trails, often for water sources or alternate routes around mountain summits, etc.  Yellow blazes.....well, yellow blazes mark roads....right down the middle of about any paved road you've ever been on.  I yellow blazed from NOC to Fontana Dam, NC; I caught a ride with Druugy, Totem, and Druugy's dad who had come down to spend a day or two.  I had food drops and supplies waiting for me at the Fontana Dam post office, and if I stayed at the NOC I was just going to blow through money.  I cut off about 25mi of hiking, which I was in no shape to do....I'm not proud about it, but I quickly realized that, although purists would say you have to pass every white blaze, I'd rather my journey be my own.  I needed to get to Fontana, and found a way to do so....if, in the end, those 25mi bother me so that I have to return and hike them, then I simply have an excuse to disappear into the mountains for a couple days.  Besides, the company was well worth sticking with.

In Fontana Dam, NC, lies the Fontana Hilton; a 24-person shelter alongside Fontana Lake, with bathrooms and a shower facility.  It is truly amazing how excited a person gets to have running water and a hot shower close by.  The shelter was free to stay at, as are all hiker shelters, so I could rest up and get my knee back in working order without breaking the bank.  I was hoping to be on the trail within a couple days, by first of the week hopefully.

My knee didn't get better.  My stride and balance were affected, I couldn't carry my weight on my left leg; and then the swelling set in, from my knee down through my leg and into my ankle.  For about three days, my ankle was the size of my bicep; not to say my bicep is all that large, really, but you get the idea.  Cabin fever started setting in; sitting around, leg elevated most of the day, not much to do, no real town to speak of...and besides, I couldn't walk 50ft without having to stop and wince.  I grew frustrated, furious with myself, anxious and ready to go.  Every day, a host of hikers would come in, stay maybe a day or two sometimes, then head back out.  I watched at least 50 other hikers come and go, probably more.  I stayed at the Fontana Hilton for six days.

Wednesday night, I told myself I was either hiking Thursday or I was going to have to get off the trail and figure out what's going on with my leg.  Thursday morning came, I got up as I normally do, and tried to walk...and faced the same problem as I had faced for the past week and a half.  I hadn't walked more than a couple miles for over a week; my knee was in constant pain and swollen; I wasn't burning through money, but I was using up supplies needed to get me through the Smokies, which are directly on the other side of the lake I was camped next to.....I could see them every day, but I knew if I set out for them I would be hobbling along at a meager pace and would be completely dissatisfied with myself.  So, I made the call:  it was time to get better, and I had to get somewhere and see someone to make sure I hadn't incurred any real serious damage.  I arrived in Alabama at my parents' late Thursday night.  Though I will be back on the Trail as soon as I can be, I'm looking at the very real possibility that my hope of a thru-hike is over; even if I can get back in a couple weeks, time is slowly turning against me to get it all in this year.

 For all those who have money in the pot, the official pull-off date is May 5.  Winner winner, Chicken dinner.

I've got an appointment to see an orthopedic doctor tomorrow morning.  I'm still hobbling about; it's hard to really say I feel any progress yet, though the swelling is now solely located in my knee and not my whole leg.

I thought very seriously about just avoiding this blog and all contact with folks for a while.  My intention in writing was to simply catalog my adventure and tell whatever sorts of compelling stories I could.  I don't want this to sound like a bemoaning dissertation of my problems; but I realized that it was my choice to bring folks along for the ride, and this is a very big part of the ride at the moment.  It's hard for me to tell you--or anyone I have to talk with--that I'm off the Trail.  It makes me feel like I've quit.  It makes me feel like I've failed.  I've tried to purposefully live my life over the past several years with little regard to what others think, so long as I follow what I believe is right and can do right by others; but this makes me feel like there is validation in all doubt and skepticism folks may have of me.  I've never completed such a task in my entire life, so I can't say I'd blame people for thinking I wouldn't finish.  And by no means am I saying that I'm simply done with it and won't go back; my hope is that there is no major injury, and after some time spent recovering I can get back to the AT and keep heading north.  My game plan has, of course, changed a bit; I'll most likely skip ahead of the Smokies a ways so I can give myself a good shot at still getting to Maine by October.  The Smokies are close enough to friends and family that I can get back this way and make up the portions I skipped more easily than I could hitch a ride to New England.  All that depends on the next couple days, and what the official word is on the ol' left knee.  If something is seriously wrong, then I suppose this blog becomes the story of how I'll pay for knee surgery with no insurance.  And, I don't know about you, but that sounds like a WAY more depressing story than the original, and probably a lot more boring.....so, I'm hoping for the best.

I feel like, in some way, I've let folks down...and for that, I'm sorry.  But I have no choice but to keep positive and keep moving forward.  The only way to go is forward....you can't turn around when you're on the Trail.

I'll be in touch.